OMG :O

-What does a sardine say when it finds a submarine?
A can of people!

-Why is the sea blue?
Because the fishes say "Blue blue...".

-A man enters  his house and says to his wife "Honey! I have  good and  bad news...
The good news is that I left  drugs... The good one is, I don't know where!

-What's the difference between falling from the 1st floor, and the 10th?
-From the 10th: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *PUM*"
From the 1st: "*PUM* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

-The teacher of the 1st class tells  his brilliant students to talk about the following themes, and that the one who finished first would go home. The themes were...
1-Monarchy
2-Sex
3-Religion
4-Mystery
After a second, Tiny John (or Joãozinho if you prefer...) calls the teacher and says he's done the work.
The teacher without believing him orders him to read.
"They went to the ass of the Queen! Oh my God! Who has done it?!".

-A blind man enters a store and begins to throw everything to the ground.
The manager says to the blind "Do you need help?"
Blind guy: "No, no! I'm just watching..."

-What does an assasin do when he has nothing to do?
Kills time...

-A women enters a clothes store and asks "Do you sell clothes for night?"
The manager: "No, at night we're closed."

-Two peanuts are walking at a grassy plain, full of cows.
One says to the other "I think we're on the wrong joke..."

-Why has the mathematic book died?
He had a lot of problems...

-Two litters of milk were walking on a street and a car roadkilled them.
One died, the other one not.
Why not? Because that one was "Longa Vida".

José Diogo